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College football fans should have known. Every time the schedule looks like a dud, something spectacular happens. (Hello, friends in Nashville, Fayetteville, College SStation and Seattle). Let's just hope next week's plethora of big games live up to the hype (that's rarely the case).

Some of this season's biggest upsets fell by the wayside because the team pulled off the miracle of losing in quick succession the next week. That's college football for you.

The same applies to last season's grading: good grades are only given for spectacular things, and failing grades have no chance of being reversed.

Last week's top marks went to Colorado two-way star Travis Hunter with another ridiculous game, and a cheerleader who caught an Oklahoma player before the game and failed grades went to an Ole Miss -Player who needs to take acting lessons.

Here's Week 6's analysis of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared:

See what happened was…

I'll keep it short and sweet. Temple football, from a sure draw or win to a heartbreaking defeat in the blink of an eye, to an epic tush-push failure.

Not exactly Jalen Hurts: F

The worst and best of the rest

APB on Vandy's goal post

Music City Mosh Pit: A++++

Cheerleader or Safety?

Go, fight, punish: A

Jeremiah. Blacksmith.

Ryan. Williams.

Mossin': NFL bound (in a few years)

Honorable mention

Job description at Ringling Bros.: A+

Flapjacks on the grill

IHOP approved: A

All eyes on Big Red

Uniform Wars: Handover to FIT

College GameDay at its best

Signs, signs, signs everywhere: Hallmark is hiring

You said it

“4. and 1st in the Super Bowl on 1st, I'll give you the ball!” Nick Saban to Marshawn Lynch on College GameDay

***

Ohio State offensive coordinator Chip Kelly on the difference between a coordinator and a head coach.

“You can go to the bathroom between shows if you need to.”

***

“Tony Rojas! Football is life!” FOX play-by-play announcer Gus Johnson praises the Penn State linebacker while channeling his inner “Ted Lasso.”

Statistics for you

1: Wins against Vanderbilt's top five opponents in its history. The Commodores had lost their last 60 such meetings before defeating Alabama.

9: The Army's winning streak is the longest in the country.

18: Consecutive wins for Wisconsin over Purdue.

47: Seasons since an FBS kicker made two 60-yard field goals in the same season. Temple's Maddux Trujillo made a 60-yarder Saturday against UConn, who made a 64-yarder early in 2024.

107: Temperature at kickoff of the Kansas-Arizona State game in Tempe. The game started at 5:05 p.m. local time.

1,031: He rushed for yards on five plays for Boise State's Ashton Jeanty. Jeanty also scored 16 rushing touchdowns.

The dog of the week

Tulane at UAB

Now to the game

This weekend's unfortunate sight for sore eyes is brought to you courtesy of Protective Stadium in Birmingham, Alabama, whose name did the Blazers absolutely no favors as it protected them from an absolute kick in the ass from visiting and aptly nicknamed Tulane Green Wave has preserved.

All is not lost at UAB; They have won at least one game this season, albeit against FCS Alcorn State, something three other FBS teams (UTEP, Kent State, Kennesaw State) cannot yet boast. And it will probably get worse before head coach Trent Dilfer even thinks about putting a smile on his face, at least when he's on a football field when they travel to West Point next Saturday to face undefeated Army.

The puppies at least took a few naps and tried to understand why this game was going so badly so quickly. Let's recap: UAB couldn't run the run, couldn't stop the run, and turned the ball over three times. Yes, that's about enough with a final score of 71-20.

On By John Fenwick

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