Dancing with the Stars Week 4: Who Went Home?

Again for the people in the back: Well done, you!

Your votes – however many you chose to register on September 24th – helped Dancing with the stars reach an important milestone. More than 14 million votes were cast that night, the most cast in a single episode in the show's history! Either that means you really love Ilona Maher, or you would have done whatever it took to make sure Anna Delvey got her clearance to run.

And understand: it's not everything. A a whopping 15 million Voted on Hair Metal Night! It had to be all the pocket wigs and the presence of special guest judge and world-renowned ballroom expert Gene Simmons, right? Clearly, DWTS Fans are clearly more engaged than ever before, which is a good sign for ABC. This means we will have the best variety show on television for years to come!

Let's get to work! The results below include the results of last night's Soul Train night or whatever else made my daughter ask, “What is Soul Train?”

Reginald VelJohnson (Family matters) with partner Emma Slater. Judge Carrie Ann Inaba thwarted him on the first night by tearfully saying she wanted to give him a 10, but only managed a 6. His motionless cha-cha – that of, oddly enough, two rows of clapping women was accompanied behind him – didn't move the needle for her too. “You blew me away, there's something about you,” Inaba said. “You take the fewest steps of anyone in this competition, but we are all on your side!” Score: Night one, Foxtrot (21 of 40); Night two (21 of 40) In total: 42

Eric Roberts (The Dark Knight) with partner Britt Stewart. Roberts reminded everyone of the car accident that nearly killed him as a child before trying to use his survival instincts to get through his Paso Doble. It didn't help. “I love your determination and your spirit,” Judge Derek Hough said. “You put your whole heart and soul into it.” Score: Night one, Foxtrot (24 of 40); Night two (22 of 40) In total: 46

NBA champion Dwight Howard with partner Daniella Karagach. Howard has such a commanding presence that he steals all the attention from his little partner. That's a good thing; No one could take their eyes off it be Paso Doble. “You’re back in the game,” Inaba said. “The line, the shape. The amazing thing is that I don’t notice the height difference that much.” But really? Score: Night one, Cha Cha (23 out of 40, boo!); Night two (29 of 40) In total: 52

Olympic rugby player Ilona Maher with partner Alan Bersten. The super athlete looked plum-tired during her jive – she missed more than a few steps – but don't worry, she's not going anywhere. She and Bersten are just too much fun to watch. “You made a mistake so many times,” admitted judge Bruno Tonioli, causing Maher to cry. She's a competitor, man! Score: Night One, Foxtrot (30 of 40); Night two (26 of 40) In total: 56

Phaedra Parks (The Real Housewives of Atlanta) with partner Val Chmerkovskiy: This lady is drama in the best sense; When she's not rehearsing, she should be giving Tran a few lessons on how to put on a good face during a paso doble. “There were some mistakes, I could see them,” Inaba said. “I think what will help you in the next section… you dance very squarely and I know you're dynamic.” Score: Night one, Quickstep (30 out of 40); Night two (26 of 40) In total: 56

Model Brooks Nader with partner Gleb Savchenko. The sexy performance didn't help the duo get high scores on the first night, so they tried a different tactic with their cha-cha: they licked each other's tongues! The judges were impressed – at least with her improvement from the first night. “I’m not the engineer here,” Gene Simmons said. “Your mood, your personality, out of this world.” Score: Night one, Rumba (28 out of 40); Night two (32 out of 40) In total: 60

Super Bowl Champion Danny Amendola with partner Witney Carson. The soccer player's ankles and knees were apparently sore, but his Paso double to “Livin' On a Prayer” rocked hard enough to open Tuesday's show. “Strong, rough and ready! “You gave it your all,” Tonioli said. “But I told you last week, don’t let it slip. Keep the strength, but you still have to add artistry, my love.” Score: Night One, Foxtrot (30 of 40); Night two (30 out of 40) In total: 60

Jenn Tran (The Bachelorette) with partner Sasha Farber. Tran lacked the requisite ferocity that is common in a paso-doble, but her performance was still crisp. “There was a beautiful, strong calm about you this evening,” Hough said. “And let’s talk about those knee movements across the floor!” Score: Night one, Viennese Waltz (31 of 40); Night two (31 of 40) In total: 62

Olympic Stephen Nedoroscik with partner Rylee Arnold: The gymnast played with his partner like a guitar before turning his foxtrot into an opportunity to show off more of his pommel horse moves on the floor. Special mention goes to the set designer who transformed the stage screen into an AI road trip. “They took the notes and followed it,” Inaba said. “I would like to see a little more understanding of the movement.” Score: Night one, Quickstep (30 out of 40); Night two (32 out of 40) In total: 62

Chandler Kinney (Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin) with partner Brandon Armstrong. Where does this child get his energy from? Oh, that's right, she is one Child. Her jive and cha-cha-cha from last night made me forget for a moment that Brandon is the real professional here, not her. “You’re in a league of your own, you really are,” Hough said. “Towards the end you lost some momentum. Jive is about endurance.” Score: Night one, Cha Cha (36 out of 40); Night two (33 out of 40) In total: 69

The BachelorJoey Graziadei with partner Jenna Johnson: Johnson often complained about his flabby body in rehearsal, but boy, did he strike gold with his amazing tango. “That was phenomenal, well done,” Hough said. “Obviously you have what it takes,” Simmons said. “Don't give up now!” I'm sure that's not his plan, Gene. Score: Night one, Jive (34 out of 40); Night two (36 out of 40) In total: 70

Maher was in the final three with Roberts and VelJohnson. Not their time, however: the old boys were sent home.

15 million votes!